Indirect Fighting Tactics

I liked how the book showed all the different fighting tactics. There are a couple of different tactics. Nonconfrontation, which includes humor or teasing, Direct Fighting, which shows hostility and rejects, and Indirect Fighting, which includes topic shifts, defensiveness, and evasive remarks. I think, and I am sure my husband would agree that I use indirect fighting tactics with him. I think most girls do because this kind of fighting includes a lot of attitude. The famous “Whatever” statement is infamous with me. I am learning though to more direct, not defensive, and talk out the issues then letting emotions get in the way.

Family and Life Span Issues (Chpt. 15)

Attachment styles are a significant part of our lives. They are related to how we cope with conflict, behave nonverbally, fall in love, and form satisfying relationships. There are three kinds of attachment styles. Secure, who are comfortable with intimacy and closeness, Avoidant, who do not trust others and are independent, and Anxious/ambivalent, who are fairly comfortable with closeness but are afraid of abandonment or rejection. I believe that these attachment styles are similar to babies. I learned in a class about how babies react to mothers and fathers in these types of styles. I wonder if the babies exhibit a certain kind when they are little, if it continues into adulthood?

Interpersonal Conflict (Chpt. 13)

Conflict is never a favorite of mine. In fact I am the type to shy away from conflict because it is uncomfortable for me. There are different styles of conflict. Competing style reflects a low concern for others and high concern for self. Accommodating style reflects high concern for others, low concern for self. Collaborating style is lack of concern for others and self. Withdrawing style, people avoid or withdraw from the situation. Finally the compromising style is a moderation of assertiveness and cooperation. Now I have done all of these types in my life. I used to be accommodating but after learning to stand up for myself I think I have moved to the compromising style. I tend to be the "peacemaker" of my friends, and I think compromising has a lot of advantages.