Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Defending the Self (Chpt. 8)
Apologies come in all kinds of forms. Some are sincere, some are guilty, and some are more sorry for being caught then sorry at all. I know we have said them and we always hear them, but who knew there were different types? Concession is a simple statement of guilt like “ I was wrong” whereas a perfunctory apology is a brief expression of regret. “I’m sorry.” A full apology can have as many as five elements in it including; expression of guilt, remorse, or embarrassment, recognition of inappropriate conduct, rejection of that conduct, acknowledgement of appropriate conduct, and penance. Those are a lot of steps to an apology, but the best kind!
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3 comments:
I really liked your post because I guess I never thought about all the meanings behind an apology. I know that when I used to fight with people, I had this great tactic where I would say "I'm sorry that your upset" because it kind of sounded like an apology, but really wasn't. Plus, it's always true because I never actually wanted someone to be upset. I guess that type of apology would be consideres a perfunctory apology. Is that right?
Sometimes, with all pride aside, I feel like I'm too forgiving. I learned to just understand and believe in the good of people. We all make mistakes and hopefully we don't have intentions of truly hurting anyone with our decisions. Hearing apologies are always nice when doing wrong to someone. Why? It shows that you're taking responsibility of what you've done and also shows how much you truly care and didn't intend on hurting anyone (or anything). I think the most sincere apologies are ones that are simply said face-to-face. I think you can tell the sincerity of a person through their eyes and how he or she apologizes. I love sincerity, whether it's used in apologies or just in everyday conversations. Eye contact is always good! Actually to me, it's important!
I agree with you that that apologies come in all different forms. It is very interesting that there are different types. I had always that that an apology was just an apology but there seems to be so much more to it after reading this chapter. I think that the “full apology” is very interesting. The idea that there are five elements I had no idea there was so much involved in an actual genuine apology. These elements are something that I will keep in mind the next time someone apologizes to me and I think that they are not sincere.
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